A Piers Morgan story in three parts

I dont care about animals. Keep the ban on fox hunting because rich people should have less ways to socialize #keeptheban

Christmas Eve has come at last. Dad gets home early, and together they hang all sorts of pretty glittering things on the tree.

Lucy and Tom at Christmas

If David Schwimmer and Jennifer Aniston are legit dating I think this is the one chance we have as a planet for world peace.

I’ll never forget walking up Tottenham High Road on the morning after the riots started 10 years ago.

Those who caused the destruction hold responsibility for their actions. But it’s very worrying the government have left us vulnerable to a repeat. theguardian.com/commentisfree/…

I mean, yes, I understand how monopolies work. Weird thing to brag about, though.

What circle of Hell is it again where Ann Widdecombe discusses the evils of vaccination with Nigel Farage on a TV show called Talking Pints?

Instead of making offenders wear high viz jackets in chain gangs, how about helping them get a real job instead? In my shops we employ lots of ex offenders and they wear a shirt and tie. Same people, different approach, a much better outcome.

For anyone confused by the situation in the UK today. Lord Pickles is a popular fictional character used by the supermarket chain Marks & Spencer to sell chutney. M&S are currently suing rival supermarket Aldi over their own (remarkably similar) character, Captain Gherkin.

it is rightly hard to take a country seriously when the news is solemnly reporting the views of 'Lord Pickles'

royalists to UK twitter

Yes of course. And if they can play identity politics and put a chosen Black face on the report all the better...

And to explain the problems of Britain’s Black underclass primarily through the lens of identity and then call the pushback against that ‘identity politics’

No offense to the ones who have been around a long time, but any chance we could see a festival that doesn't exclusively choose headliners from a pool of bands who were active in 1998? Maybe sprinkle some women in there too, if you're feeling crazy. Thanks!

Diversity & Inclusion Meeting with the Royal Family

There is a toxic mix of bigotry and uncontrolled guns in this country and it’s past time that we had political leaders who stood up against both. Shame on those who don’t.

Please enjoy this plug. It is for my album, It Sounded like the Truth, which came out last year. Thank you.

pocketwitch.bandcamp.com/album/it-sound…