The main danger to our community tonight was the huge armed police presence requested on campus by admin - not protesters. A wholly disproportionate response that provoked disruption, fear & frustration across the whole wider community, not just Columbia. 5/

A throwback to Hard Melissa showing respect and kindness to her superior in the workplace. I’m sure she will do the same at our show on Saturday in New Jersey. dice.fm/event/5kdl8-tw…

🇨🇦05/30/2024

Jaime just said “If I hear you say Jalen Brunson again I’ll scream”

The teens have emerged like cicadas in my neighborhood. They are running wild through the bodega, shrieking in their little tops.

Fuck you BBC fuck you The Guardian fuck you The New York Times fuck you The Washington Post that this is not your front page news. We are witnessing the holocaust in Rafah.

I’m going to open a restaurant off the highway where if you want to buy food you have to piss in our bathroom. Food for pissing customers only.

just described a football tight end as vers because they block and receive

tonight I asked a 24 year old if they knew who Emilio Estevez was :/

We are waiting for a phone call from Vice President Harris and the DNC to allow a single Palestinian American speaker to address delegates from the convention stage. #LetPalestineSpeak #NotAnotherBomb

what if there really is a god and when we get to heaven he just roasts us for all the dumb, cringey, embarrassing shit we did on earth

I hate flies because they’re always rubbing their little hands together like they’re getting away with an evil plan.

Today I drove past a car with a giant decal on the windshield that just said “IGNORANCE” and I actually regret not driving into oncoming traffic to snap a pic of it.

The Mets knew that I forgot to cancel DIRECTV before my free trial end ended and they didn’t want my money to have been wasted 🙏🏼❤️#lgm

NEW QUORATORS w/ the great EMILY PANIC! → Is it okay that I give my first dates a cleavage protector? → How can I get to sleep with the neighborhood aunt? → Is it common for people to make fun of men who wear speedos at the beach or pool? GO WATCH youtu.be/6RRkMmht5jU

I had a dream that I met Francisco Lindor bc he found me sleeping half naked in his bed room (bc I was asleep half naked having this dream) I gave him a hug and he accidentally touched my boob then got visibly put off and told me I was weird and walked away 😭 devastating. #LGM

Is that normal?

I did a pretty good Ali G impression for my dad tonight.

Lets go Mets