I haven't showered 4 days in a row since high school

just watch out for the musical plateaus ;) RT Ryan Blake Martin: Yes sirree! RT @joshphiffer: So stoked to be recording with Ryan Blake Martin

@joshphiffer hahah! I'm just messing with you man. it's all in good fun :)

and please explain to me how exactly you would kill a genre, really interesting "death to false metal" tshirt-wearing dad?

I never understood how someone that worked in the corporate world would ever want to trade that in for being in a band. I understand now

Just posted a photo instagr.am/p/SSkk0fKzf3/

I seriously have about 10 scammers a day emailing me about my iPhone 4 I have listed on craigslist. my life is so hard you guys

all my dad brought to thanksgiving dinner was a jello hand he made. I can't understand how I turned out so w instagr.am/p/SWgIJTqzXI/

@OoberKelly if you have a pearl icon rack you can use any pearl icon mounts

the only bar I care about hanging out in. #traps #XXX #straightedge instagr.am/p/SY-tzEqzbO/

#RTR

MEN: If you're bitter that hot women never have to buy drinks, remember, you've never had to buy a hoister to keep your chest fat pretty.

Using POD guitars/programmed drums and thinking you're a great engineer is like heating a Tyson diner and thinking you're a great chef.

kept a steak in my pocket all day today

when I get to heaven and they play back my life movie, the only thing I'll be embarrassed about is how much money I've spent at Hardee’s

Thickburger™ Money well spent, bro. Not sure there are Thickburgers in heaven.

I just drove 25 mph down a BNA runway in a belt loader while eating dumpster dived chicken nuggets. no one else on earth did that tonight

hey Hardee’s I'm seriously like really famous and verified and good looking and smell okay so why don't you send me some gift cards DM me

well after lots of contracts and attorneys, it's finally official! I've sold the rights of this twitter to Hardee's Corp

Warm your bones with the new Philly Cheesesteak Thickburger™ at Hardee's® this winter!