Absolutely gutted for Salah. He's the first Egyptian to play in a champions league final. And the first Egyptian to go to Russia i presume.

Mane just saved Karius from being the new Gerrard

Surely Karius has been slipped a back hander for this game.

This Sunday... Comedy East.... Whitechapel.... Nuff said.

Comedy East tonight at 1 mile end road. Little 5 minute slot. Fingers crossed.

I've been back on twitter for about a week now, and that's all it's taken for my hatred of Piers Morgan to come back. Mad that ain't it!

Tonight | 11 PM | #RoastBattle at The Bill Murray | N1 8NQ £5 | reserve seats: eventbrite.co.uk/e/roast-battle… featuring: Rick Kiesewetter vs Jonny Gillam Peter Bazely Comedian vs Dan Collins @thejobyshow vs Julie Grady Thomas AP COMEDIAN vs Wade McElwain @jacobandthehats vs HideThisForMe

She looks fuckin' dead behind the eyes the poor cow. Imagine have that orange ball sack as a husband. Almost as bad as having him as a president. x.com/piersmorgan/st…

Tonight ill be having a few laughs at The Royal George with G&B Comedy . Got 5 minutes worth of funny stuff planned out so pop down.

Tonight's venue for some powerful comedy. Some really good acts on tonight aswel, definantly worth a visit.

Thanks to G&B Comedy for having me last night. 5 minutes of funny stuff followed by me chucking a pint over some geezer. I'm gonna put it down as a win. 👍

Happy birthday to my old pal @KemCetinay . How things have changed eh? All the best geez. *turkish foot slap*

#NewProfilePic

Surely im not the only one whos like this at Aldi Stores UK #comedy #standup #gabcomedy #aldi #essexstandup

Suns out, plums out x.com/essexlive/stat…

Lad.. x.com/AP/status/9899…

Surely we can't sell Wembley Stadium. Although bombing Syria couldn't of been cheap. Maybe we should sell it, and give school kids free meals. I'm sure the £80,000 a week footballers wouldn't mind. Who by the way get free meals.

Tomorrow night. Arch One. G&B Comedy. Thats a bit of AP. Catch me… instagram.com/p/BihxltIAzn2/…

Today i killed a bee. It stung my foot and now i feel guilty that it died and i'm in pain coz it got me good. Im such a mixed bag of emotions right now. Sorry world. #RIPbee #SaveTheBees

Literal hard on over this. Fuckin love The Inbetweeners. x.com/James_Buckley/…