Is it cake though?

AUNQUE CORRAS TE ESCONDAS NO PUEDES ESCAPAR BITCH

I deserve an award for how long I’ve been holding on to resentments from several years ago as if it all just happened yesterday. And another award for not having changed, matured or improved myself in the slightest since then

Seasonal depression and Morgan Wallen are my best fucking friends and I want a goddamn whiskey drink.

Isn’t it weird how the most popular, attractive and promising dude from your high school moves to Hollywood to become a model/actor after graduating and then ultimately ends up selling potted cactus on the outskirts of Los Angeles by the age of 30

Microplastics and Covid vaccines that’s how

If you’re the type of person that needs someone to apologize TO YOU then you deserve to die of covid. This is coming from one of your “fellow” unvaccinated. Fuck off

Kaaaaayyyyyyyyy someone come get their grandma

It’s called manual labor

For the love of fucking god somebody please show this memo to the state of California

To be fair… they’re still going to be dodge durangos

What’s worse: a serial killing podcaster or a podcasting serial killer?

Relishing over the idea of recreating my “ketchup all week” vine video

Skeptical Septic services. Is it shit? We may handle it. Is it a dead body chopped up into little pieces and shoved down the drain with a shit ton of bleach? We may handle that too. Skeptical Septic Services, we don’t give a fuck what this shit is! Please call us maybe.

What in the fuck is social media

I’ve been on this platform since 2010. This will be my last tweet and it goes as follows: Fuck every single politician, fuck the president and the four that preceded him, fuck the senators, fuck your “legal” insider trading, fuck the lies and fuck the people who profit off of

Yo Apple if I EVER get another one of your goddamn blaring siren end of days fucking apocalypse emergency alerts that does not DIRECTLY pertain to me and my location, I am going to columbine your HQ. This is not a threat, it’s a promise.

IM SORRY I DONT LAUGH AT THE RIGHT TIMES