#whp #camelphat

Been sat in my car for 10 minutes on the phone whilst in Home Bargains car park. What a wild assortment of creatures we have in Nelson.

Me and my wife have specifically waited for today to use a ‘spend £20 get £5 off’ maccies voucher. Patience is a virtue. Todays the day.

Yea bring Matt Lucas and the Kool-Aid man out that will be tasteful

To whoever had a shit in Burnley JD Gym’s sauna. You need to have a long hard look at yourself after you’ve wiped your dutty ass.

People drink guiness to take pictures of it and tell you how good a creamyyyyyy dome is after a days graft. Because nothing quenches your thirst like a pint of burnt bread.

Leeds fest pulling it out of the bag with the initial line up for the first time in years

My favourite time of year starts tomorrow. Love all the “MoVeMbErS FiNiShEd NoW Pal” comments from randomers in the boozer.

The magic of Christmas is just lying to kids really

Twitter at the moment is just people getting shot, bets not being paid out and lads barking at dua lipa. What a ride.

Best day of the year hands down. Losing money at the bookies. Still fucking fried from yesterday. Get to the pub. Get on the pints and embrace Boxing Day. Fucking send it in because it’s a bank holiday and route still riding the Xmas high. Get after it shaggers 🫡

If you’re hungover on the sofa and wanting to watch some easy tv, do NOT put on Saltburn. I’m not really sure when the time and place is for a film like that but being rough isn’t the one. Never felt so scared, confused or rough all at once. What a wild ride.

Why is the HMRC website so difficult to navigate. Bro I’m trying to do my tax return pliz just let me start my self assessment.

When people say “could only happen to me 🤣🤣” and then proceed to say the most common, most coincidental thing ever. 😴

30 years old sat in waiting for a new catflap to be delivered. Soon be weekend 🥹🥹🥹

This morning my wife washed my hairs out of the sink as I finished shaving. I was still there and didn’t forget she just did it without complaining. One small step for man..

Netflix will reel you with a jaw dropping documentary only for it to be dubbed with the most monotone person ever putting on a wank French accent or wherever it’s from.

Never even liked tennis anyway.

I cannot explain how much I hate Guinness drinkers