my schedule today:

3pm queen out
4pm ijbol
5pm cocktail time
7pm OKAYYY

im eating sandwiches you’ve never heard of in parks you’ve never been to

walking home from pub after three pints in a 10pm June sunset

targeted post

I think I have mouth cancer

The bartender at p*rk h*use can get wrecked though it’s the second time I mentioned the neighbor discount and he gives me some fuckass rude answer every time like dog it’s a real thing I’m not having hysteria

The guys at rays had no idea what the fuck I was talking about in terms of my tattoo but they were so hyped on it they were just like “free shot and fries? Sure yeah???”

She’s so real for this because papaya does not taste good! When papaya boats were trending I tried to like it but it tasted like bitter melon

it's bare minimum thursday. be sure to do the bare minimum at your job

The way that I own soooooo many clothes and wear the same three things

*Bodega man (the man that works at the bodega)

Me telling a grown man I’m gonna eat him

Bodega told me I was sweating. It’s called drunk elephant bronzing drops king…

Drank this in the shower last night

Fabulous

employees should get 25-30 hungover days off a year and possibly even more if you really like getting drunk

me at brandy melville with 14 year olds