I have 3 different keys to get into my new flat. It's gonna be like crystal maze to get into my bedroom when drunk!!!

I have a tumble dryer .. Well aren't I privileged!!

Love being back in aber! Can't wait for other people to arrive now!!

If Roy Hodgson was pleased with England's performance and is happy with a draw then he shouldn't be England manager .. Simple as..

Eating too much broccoli can cause sexual dysfunction and mental retardation.

8 shots of whiskey in an hour ... Yeah never again

Who the fuck hoovers at this time of day. Inconciderate prick

Good day. Actually feeling relieved!!

Auughhhh drunk fucking idiot

Wtf is this wanker doing skyping something at 3am .. Inconsiderate cunt.

If only Bradley's arm was longer. Best photo ever. #oscars

Birdland by simon stephens looks sooo good! Can't wait to direct Bluebird next year!!

Tired but canna sleep #studentlife