There was always a lady in the school’s front office who looked just like this

imagine if this store sold eyelids that’d be crazy

I wish someone would pronounce me chuck and larry 😔

when I was 23 I had a very old ford taurus that wouldn’t start if it got rained on

imo the best thing about christmas is the magic

omicron moved on me like a bitch

my covid having wife is serving grinch realness this christmas

my happiest moment of this year was when I saw shaq on the sidewalk

I tuck my phone into bed after a long day. You’ve worked hard little fella, I whisper with a kiss

the only unskilled worker is emily in paris

WIZARD👏HATS👏AND👏DUNCE👏CAPS👏ARE👏TOO👏SIMILAR👏I'M👏SICK👏AND👏TIRED👏OF👏THINKIN'👏I'M👏HANGIN'👏 WITH👏A👏DAMN👏WIZARD👏BUT👏IT👏TURNS👏👏OUT👏TO👏BE👏A👏DUNCE👏AND👏THEY👏CAN👏BARELY👏DO👏A👏SINGLE👏MAGIC👏SPELL👏AND👏WHATNOT!!!

you can't spell team without meat

what in Tár nation?!

We all hung out in a coffee shop called Poopies up on the strip

going to an art fair tomorrow and gonna dress like an absolute maniac

Rodney Dangerfield making love to his wife

There is a horrific humanitarian disaster in Gaza. The U.S. should not provide another nickel to the Netanyahu government unless there is a fundamental change in military policy and their response to the humanitarian crisis.

Someone Made A Tribute To Chris Christie Set To The Fray’s ‘Over My Head (Cable Car)’ And It’s Absolutely Perfect