“Breed for Britain”

good evening, I don't really know how to say this but I'm at Tory party conference and was minding my own business and Peter Andre crossed the room and decided to shove his crotch in my face, while serenading me

Also filmed this for a number of reasons: 1. When I got my nose broken there happened to be no CCTV… in SOHO (miracle I know)!! So i wanted some evidence; and 2. Some of you fuckers didn’t believe this stuff happens.

Only lost 3 followers after the profile pic change

When you KNOW you're being manipulated, but you can't help but go with it anyway

Third time lucky. Going to put The Ring on to cheer myself up.

People have gone from "Stop giving airtime to Johnson to promote his book" to "This interview MUST go ahead with *insert journalist's name here* instead.

IT IS MY BLOON DAY! Please pay homage and send Frazzles. And share my arts, and buy mah wares… (links in bio)

Drifted asleep in front of the TV last night and when I woke up, that shopping channel on ITV was selling power of attorney.

Praying to all the Gods (not just the hot ones) that the Strictly singers won't be attempting this. metro.co.uk/2024/10/02/str…

It’s so relaxing being the thick one in the relationship.

There once was a young man from Harrow Who tried to have sex with a sparrow The sparrow said "no, you can't have a go Cos the hole in my arse is too narrow" #NationalPoetryDay

Finished The Ring