“I want you to know before I quote this that this car is the only one in the world manufactured with an engine like this…” - mechanic about to ruin my day

I think we may need more pillows. What do you think ⁦jessicaweeks⁩

Last day of the Atlanta Braves season and I am just waiting on one final “Mets lost” tweet from Kevin McAlpin

We’ve reached the point in the season where I’m just hoping teams I hate lose. I’m hate watching. This is my hate list. Phillies Chicago Dansbys Dodgers Saints Mets Phillies Saints Yankees

Hey ⁦The Athletic⁩ that’s David pollock not Marc Sanchez. Unless you’re breaking news that pollock is the one who stabbed him.

The fun thing about flying frontier is it’s everyone’s first flight ever

Bagahahahaga. Philadelphia Phillies

Literally one of the best parts of grocery shopping is the interactions with these kids at Publix. They rule and I’m so happy they have an opportunity there.

Section 107, Row 11, seat 103

Trans people deserve respect AND women’s sports MUST be protected. Letting biologically male athletes compete against women undermines fairness and steals opportunities from female athletes. We can’t blur this line. Women’s sports are for biological women.

Happy Thanksgiving. Love your’s truly and ⁦jessicaweeks⁩

Honestly if I took a couple hundred million dollars from my neighbor and gave it to some sketchy bums who Venmoed a bunch of it to terrorists, and then he drove past my house and called me a retard, I would consider it getting off easy

Extend Raheem!!!

We have a good friend that had this happen to him. Can no longer eat any mammal meat without anaphylactic reaction.

You sound like a potential homosexual.

I think Mendoza is the maxed out combo of autistic and athletic. Like. He’s the most the can be of those two things at the same time. Any more autistic he’d lose athleticism and vice versa. #NationalChampionship

Not sure the big ten champ can handle the physicality of this coastal division runner up ACC team for an entire 60 minutes.

There are three days that matter in the nfl. The day the falcons season is over The day the saints season is over The day Sean Payton’s season is over.

On a flight ready to go, staff is looking for a passenger that checked in but isn't on the plane yet...they page him, "We are looking for 'Jihad Mohammad' if you are on the plane, please hit your attendant button." My thoughts are unsettled.