The best part of getting fired was being able to say “what are they gonna do, fire me?” when I wore ripped jeans to a customer lunch

Pretty soon the only people left in my city that I know are gonna be my 3 ex-boyfriends

All I want for my birthday is attention

I wonder how much people can hear from my car when I drive around blasting Bright Eyes

I don’t think anyone I’ve ever considered my best friend considered me their best friend

I think about the Pitchfork review that got the message of Arcade Fire’s Creature Comfort so so wrong a lot

Being sick while being single is the worst

Twitter is good actually

truly don’t know what i’m gonna do without twitter

I like living alone, but I don’t like sleeping alone

My ex used to say “I’m glad we’re friends” and now I can never say that with sincerity to anyone

Oh no oh fuck just realized that my therapist kinda looks like Taylor Swift

First hot dog since reading jamie loftus 🌭 ‘s Raw Dog and I bought it from a cart outside the pool and I am going to fucking enjoy it

Feminism means that I can respect the Barbie movie for completely avoiding the “born sexy yesterday” trope (kinda doing the opposite) and I can also say that I want to lick Ryan Gosling’s abs

Unable to watch the Rude Tales of Magic live show because I’m at a Dracula dance party but we learned a dance choreographed to the theme, Danse Macabre!

i’m so tired and i just need like a really good hug