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Hot dogs are hot men's best friend

This started as 5 bare root raspberries 2 years ago. Exponential increase is real.

doing fireworks inside this year because it’s too hot out

If we hadn't won the american revolution we would be speaking english rn

if i was playing at wimbledon i would have them bring me out in a cage to intimidate my opponent, i would be rattling the bars and snarling at the crowd

im on the cutting edge of being normal

You can't be a real man unless you're from the Isle of Man, otherwise you're just a sparkling guy

Thank you for your attention to this matter

By age 25, you should have thousands of moss-covered rocks

The truth will set you free, but it won't apologize for locking you in there in the first place

*gets down on one knee* will you go bowling with me

Hope the corn is knee-high right about now

Happy birthday America! 🇺🇲

Nothing wrong with me that a cigarette and some store brand seltzer water can't fix

Watching the fireworks shaking my head so my dogs know I disagree with them

Time to seize the memes of production