I’m now a single issue voter

Godspeed to you if you're going to a party (?) to watch tonight, but I had a party in 2016 to watch the results, and the vibe shift that happened was so sudden and horrific that I'll quite simply never do that again in my life.

With 0% of the vote in, Donald Trump is a douchebag.

If it would've proved Gaetz's innocence, it would have been released already. Just saying.

Fine, I'll come out and admit it. Andy Cohen and Anderson Cooper shouldn't run the largest military on the planet.

at least we actually give you until midnight

For all Trump's talk of manufacturing jobs, you didn't see the CEOs of GE and Caterpillar sitting in the prime seats today. You saw the CEOs of Amazon and X and Meta and Google and TikTok. It's the attentional oligarchs whose power he cares about.

If you change the name of something like "Gulf of Mexico," everyone will use the new name. Just ask anyone on Twitter.

Omg😳

Someone ask Lara Trump why she has the job she has

Someday soon, he'll get his parade. We'll ALL watch it. The whole world will remember where they were. The cheering and applause will be insane. We'll have tears in our eyes, and there will be commemorative merchandise. It will be the best funeral ever.

"HOW COULD A HELICOPTER CRASH INTO AN AIRPLANE!!" Well, you see, the President of the United States and the Transportation Secretary are both former reality tv stars and the Secretary of Defense is an alcoholic.

Back in my day there was so much toilet paper and so much eggs that we gathered at night and threw them at the houses of our enemies.

bet this hits so hard if you can't do division

"Funny how the Trump $5000 baby bonus only pays out when the baby is born. I thought ya’ll said a fetus is a baby?" - saadia___m on threads

Con Air…