April Fools is to autistic people what 4th of July is to dogs.

Cried in my weekly staff meeting today, I’m sure this won’t hinder my attempts to be treated like an adult

When coaching Quadball directly impacts your Spotify daylist

Today in Alyssa feels old: I mimed calling a radio station to request Fall Out Boy to my quad kids

I have acquired another niece and it’s pretty neat

My yoga instructors voice creeping into my mind as I do bicep curls reminding me that I no longer have the ability to straighten my arms because of doing too many bicep curls

Went to the gym instead of taking a nap

My coworkers have been watching me mentally spiral for weeks and are now unphased by my bouts ranting

Waited a month to meet with upper management about my concerns only for them to cancel it 30 mins beforehand. This place is going to be the death of my sanity

I’m too old for the going out time to be after 11PM, pray for me

I’ve been banned from being the first driver because I would “Drive the whole 6 hours without letting anyone else help”

Power Ranking of Fidgets based on what my coworkers played with: 1. Spikey Lightup Ball 2. Slinky 3. Play-Doh 4. Suction Cup Ball 5. Fidget Spinners

It’s Gemini season which means Tybalt and I are at full strength

Work allows me to live my worst nightmares: Being the only woman in a room of 20 men

My new favorite kink is getting bullied by my Garmin

I can’t wait to go home and use my waterpik to get popcorn out of my gums

What I’m learning about myself is I hate most engagement rings. What I know about myself is I feel like the worst person when the jewelry people are desperately trying to find one I like.

My Garmin’s out here begging me to relax while also reminding me of my run I have to do today. Pick a lane Garmin

I draft fantasy football on vibes because you can’t plan for your friends to allow for someone in the league to get Hurts and McCaffrey by the 5th round

We can’t even beat the Commanders…