Hey @TryCaviar , just tried placing a large order a few times, but only received this racist error message in return. Not cool

Currently missing the wedding of two people I care about, on a beautiful day, because americanair didn’t have enough crew to staff the flight I had paid for. #americanairlines

My husband sent me this, saying that our cat refuses to move, so his ear is now an `enter key`

Dexter, Mr Enter Ear himself, would like to thank everyone for the love - even though he’s always known he would be famous someday and isn’t surprised by it at all.

Always

We have a "geolegend" in our midst! Check out this recent article from Ge❄️-Institute ❄️f ASCE ☃️'s Geostrata featuring CCEE Distinguished Professor Mo Gabr, who discusses his academic and research career and his inspiration for studying geotechnical engineering: loom.ly/7Hd5Iug

Whenever I get my hair blown out and I see the little puffs of steam I imagine it's the little souls of my healthy hair going up to heaven..

Everyone's upset about The Mountain/Prince Oberyn and I'm still thinking about Tyrion/Jaimes's beetle conversation. #WHATDOESITMEAN #GoT

I have the worst sunburn of my life. Please, universe, let the bathtub start to pour aloe. 🙏

"If I had nine of my fingers missing I wouldn't type any slower." - #mitchhedberg

It takes a lot of self restraint to not shave my head when it's hot out. #iunderstandbritney

When my dog growls at someone: I don't think she's misbehaving, I think you're a bad person. #villaindetector

When I write a tweet that is exactly 140 characters long I feel like I just wrote an award winning haiku. #thisisntoneofthem

All I’m really saying is, right, be an outlaw … but do it your own way, for your own reasons, and for christ’s sake don’t blow it.

Happy Ramadan Mubarak to Muslim folk everywhere.

Feeling connected to everyone around me, on their own rooftops, cheering. #happy4th #NYC

I either have the choice of wearing a black shirt with no white marks on it, or I have the choice of wearing deodorant. I can't have both.

Just spent so much time on the phone with technical support that the technician invited me to his wedding in New Delhi, India. I'm honored!

In a nut, I want to hold up a mirror and let the bastards argue with that, not me.

hey