why all these straight boys think mullets are the move 😒

told my brother i don’t know what an NFT is & he almost grabbed me through the phone & strangled me

trucks and slippers are slowly becoming the same shape

people wearing 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 much cologne… cut it out 🥴

*me after i poop* i love losing weight ✌️😗✌️

just yelled to myself “does he still follow me?? that’s the only reason I follow him..” probably a good starting place for my next therapy session..

currently running purely off of ham & adrenaline atm #happyeaster

i’m never civil about the last bite of food on my plate. i either eat it like a neanderthal or throw it away..

dude says he’s gonna drive an hour & a half to come over, should i believe him?

who the fuck does the vogue question interviews & why hasn’t he been punched in the face several times

ugh, kinda miss bein slutty in Atlanta 🤧

you are home

guys asking for your snapchat is the equivalent of a kid asking “do you have games on yo phone?”

i got my douché & my dong, i’m good to go 👌🏽

does anyone else also genuinely believe that your stomach is all fun & lit up inside like they show you in acid reflux relief product commercials?

& the team is comprised of: The staple black guy Neil Armstrong’s clone Buzz Lightyear The Lesbian