I lost all my drafts I am literally seeing red ama

The rapture happened and I still have to go to work

They don’t want to know how many ibuprofen I take at a time

The source of all evil is Connecticut

Security guy at my office building just asked me why everyone in our office looks so sad every morning 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Can’t wait for my patience to reward me because I’m literally -

Selling my soul to get bills passed in the state of Virginia

Youngest person at hot yoga at noon on the Thursday. Edging my unemployment era again

Sent mom a cute pic and all she could notice was me wearing a $100 hat and now I have to listen to a v long speech about saving money

It happened to Jesus

Good Morning America

Feeling 30 years old

My intuition can sense impure hearts btw

Idc I should’ve been there

Don’t fret.

My problem is that I always know too much

I’d make more money as an Etsy witch

Best friend went on a date with a guy with the same name as my boyfriend and things got serious. Our friendship cannot event

Make a protein bar that doesn’t stick on your teeth challenge

So The Wolf of K street💊 is showing me his golf items collection for national bf day