The Flex God feels slightly disgruntled… Oh well, as long as he doesn’t start anything with another god.— He’ll just remain upon the Flex Throne.—

Casually loads his gun. And he’s only using the best ammo! Flex Shot™!

“Flex Tape™ is SUPER strong!”

“No matter how hard you try, Flex Tape™ can’t make Wendy’s food any better!”

How to Improve an Android. Step 1: Buy a container of Flex Seal liquid. Step 2: open it. Step 3: throw the Android in it. Step 4: cover and let it dry overnight. Step 5: buy a fucking iPhone.

Lord Shaggy has been destroyed… The Flex God just chuckles quietly to himself while rubbing his hands together. The throne of Meme God is his once more.

[Phil Swift Stands In Your Way!]

Casually saws the door to the timeline in half.—

//since everyone’s doing it.— #Munday

“To Show you the power of Flex Tape…” Places a pack of C4 on the wall, before stepping back and pulling out the detonator… Which he then squeezed, causing the explosive to detonate.— “… I blew a hole in this wall!”

Phil Swift gives up.mp4

//when you realize someone’s chasing after and harassing female writers like yourself… But you can then use this status to lure them in… AND THEN SAW THEIR EMOTIONS IN HALF.

@ all the shipgirls.—

Casually gulps down a nice tall glass of Flex Seal. [Lead Belly perk: Level 3]