the millennial urge to fill your bedside table with snacks

I'm about to make a very big decision. I am thinking of ruining a bunch of friendships by switching back to Android. I hope I have the strength to go through with this. Prayers appreciated. 🙏

thank you for your support <3

Which old are you:

The text bots are getting reeeeeaally good because I’m still not sure. At the risk of my bank accounts, BBQ tho

Can we remove “any fun plans this weekend?” from the social conversation starter deck? It’s not inclusive towards anti-socials and often illicit an awkward and revealing response from the person being asked. all in motion? ✋

I cast Magic Missile

I couldn’t get permission to make a Hawk Tuah tweet on my work brand account

Tuah. It stands for Tuah.

When your team meeting for work is gaming. 💚 jasmine ✶ billie but mexican

Things women are judged for: Not having kids How they raise kid(s) Choice of partner Not having a partner Too much make up Looking too tired (no makeup) Ability to smile Their hobbies Their neckline + hemline Too loud Too quiet Too independent Lack of save-me vibes

I lost 5 pounds so now I’m eating kettle corn and a whole ube cake roll.

In a debate with a friend and I need to know: Have you opened a bag of chips or eaten any snack while in a bathroom?

What's a song you haven't stopped listening to this week? I need to know what you have on repeat.

some of ya'll did absolutely nothing for the nookie and it shows

Shakira needs a Christmas album

ARISE basically

One day you woke up and turned your swag on for the very last time and didn’t even know it.

I'd make sure he was in the office that day

#NewProfilePic