Kulta was always meant to be Garrett's cat. He's got a G on him.

So excited to see that MisterWives will be in Denver and then I look at the date and realize I'll be getting ready to give birth. How the times they do change.

Lol I graduated from high school 10 years ago

It is an unspoken rule in my house that if I come across any sort of content involving a red panda, I send it to my husband immediately.

Everything. Gives. Me. Heartburn. 🙃 I haven't had heartburn once in my entire life and I get A LITTLE PREGNANT AND ALL THE SUDDEN ITS EVERY MINUTE OF EVERY DAY!

My husband is always willing to be a hater with me when I feel like being a hater and that's the secret to a successful marriage I think

How can I make it so my child stays safe in my uterus forever? This world is so fucking scary. 😭😭😭

DON'T TALK TO ME I'M NESTING

Me: get this baby out of me Also me: *remembers exactly how it works to get this baby out of me* Me again: lol nevermind

My baby is in the 90th percentile size wise and still has 8 weeks of growing to do. 😭 Please come a little early, my guy.

Finally asked my husband how often he thinks about the Roman Empire. He thought hard about his answer and said, "3 to 4 times a month." 🤣

"I'm eating a potato while squatting to honor my ancestors." Who did I marry?!? 🤣🤣🤣

I get excited when Taylor Swift does things like dating football man because I know it makes Dragon excited and I love her happiness.

"Garrett, why are our cats assholes?" "Because they're fuckin cats, Allie."

Having a tiny foot stretch into your ribs regularly is a very uncomfortable sensation, just in case anyone was wondering.

I started maternity leave yesterday and it took ONE DAY of me not having to stress about going to work while also being ready for baby to do something for myself and I read a book for the first time in months.

My one month old son farts like a grown man.

Ever just yell at your cat while nursing and scare the shit out of your baby? 😬