she tommin on my jerry while i scooby her dooby doo

Harry Styles would be much cooler if he completely snapped… just absolutely lost it one day

Can we stop pretending Chris Brown made a small oopsie one time when he is in fact a serial abuser

i am thankful for boobs

I grew up with a mother that was addicted to heroin and crack cocaine and I never once seen her act the way I do when I lose my vape

elon musk running twitter has the same vibes as the bossy kid at recess that keeps changing the rules of the game he made up because he's losing

- Retail &/or hospitality workers, please tweet me your PayPals and a selfie at work! I know Holiday season sucks big ass and y’all don’t get paid any extra for putting up with the horse shit that is Christmas shopping. Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas & Hanukkah 🕎 RT Pls

im a nepotism baby (my mom worked at my schools growing up)

omg my best friend got me tickets to an AJR show!! 😱 I’m so excited I’m literally getting dressed right now to go find a new best friend!!!

I will never have an EGOT, but I will always be a FAGGOT

as a girl i should be allowed to speak to the moon directly

The “now I’m finished with the franchise that made me famous, and very rich, so imma just be weird for a while” pipeline.

I can buy myself flowers

jerking off is just stimming with a reward

Brat summer is all fun and games until you die from doing fent laced coke in bushwick and your parents have to come identify your body and you were wearing a miniskirt with no panties