Linda Belcher with Fran Drescher’s voice: “oh Mr. Fishodor”

Chicago receives more federal funding for coastal land than all of Texas. Also, the blocks are a vibe.

Not even this year

This is so Donna Sheridan coded

He’s running

How bout we start with free school lunches and see how that goes, you weirdo

My name is JB Prtitzker. The B stands for Billionaire, but I don’t like Billionaire, I just like “B” and that’s all.

Please serve DNC Chicken Strips ™️ at my funeral

I’m in a really bad place right now. Not mentally. Just sitting on the ground United Center concourse 306.

This feels uniquely disqualifying

If I learned one thing from my 2008 middle school mock election, you can’t do this

Two dumb bitches telling each other “exactlyyyyy”

Ngl this would be the worst election of the month

Zara should be tried at The Hague for their fitting room mirrors

The only thing this is going to change is the reduction of bike lanes in major cities

My hottest take is that that’s not Colin Ferrell

Annual reminder that Chicago has more sand beaches than Miami (~30, all lifeguarded), does daily rapid water quality testing, and has 26 miles of uninterrupted public lakefront access