Saw an email that said, "Can't think of a gift this season? Give a TIME magazine subscription!" Even TIME magazine knows they are a last resort gift.

Again

Breaking: U2 has done a deal with Pfizer to include their new album in the vaccine shot.

Woke up to find 56 emails from Google telling me there aren’t any issues. Google is that toddler who comes into your room at 2am and pokes you until you wake up and then says “hi” and then goes back to their room.

Move this from Texas to south Florida and you’ve got a scene from a Carl Hiaasen novel.

Oh my god that’s hilarious. Also, Twitter fixed the retweet button! It’s a Christmas miracle!!!

Snow has started, right on schedule

Company Zoom holiday party. Drank a bottle of wine & charcuterie (company provided). Played a few songs 🎷. Watched some terrific comedians. Not the worst party ever. Possibly the best.

“Soul music”???

let’s do our part and leave a better earth for future generations and keith richards

I got more exercise clearing snow in the last 12 hours than I’ve had since the pandemic started in March.

1. Buy the orange ice melt 2. Use an old Kraft Parmesan cheese shaker as your dispenser 3. Convince neighborhood kids you use shakey cheese on your walkways

I looked at the Wikipedia page for the year 1743, and honestly, Keith Richards being born was pretty much the only major historical event that year.

Every time I think I grasp the magnitude of the stupidity of this administration, they prove: no, stupider.

Guys!! Stop listening to White Christmas ASAP.

when trump dies his headstone is gonna have a disclaimer from Twitter

(still on a Twitter detox break, but stopping by to say) My novel Apotheosis won another book award today! Get it here: mybook.to/apo

Hey Twitter. Still on a break, but thought I’d stop by to share the results of a book award contest. I didn’t win, but some teens REALLY LIKED MY BOOK! goodreads.com/review/show/41…