Find this toilet incredibly relatable

A lovely new fleece I bought online arrived today and now it’s suddenly 17 degrees so you all have me to thank.

In a dramatic change of fortunes I'm first on the whole street to get their bin out ready to be collected tomorrow 💪

Ramsbottom doing Ramsbottom things

Just finishing listening to the last ever Frank Skinner podcast which I’ve enjoyed for more than a decade. Softening the blow slightly by seeing the man himself and Pierre Novellie in Blackburn tonight!

Had that absolute nightmare in a Wetherspoons in Blackburn last night where someone greeted me by name in a very friendly manner and I have no idea who they were. So if you’re reading this, please make yourself known so I can apologise and give you an equally friendly greeting.

Bought zip off walking trousers for the first time today and with that I have officially entered my 30s

Walked 15 miles today to get to our airbnb and be told we don’t have a booking because the old landlord did a runner and the new one has no way of contacting people to tell them they don’t actually have anywhere to stay 🙃

Made my wife and dog spend the last four days walking 55 miles across Dorset to Lulworth Cove

A poor-gia result if you ask me #TURGEO

Second time in a week I’ve gone to watch England in a pub and they’re showing it on iplayer/itv whatever. I’m here to watch the game live, not a minute behind, it’s on TERRESTIAL TV, just buy an aerial they’re not expensive.

Charging me £6.50 a pint - just use the money from one of them to buy an aerial you cowards.

Moved to a heavy metal pub and England scoring to March of the Pigs by Nine Inch Nails will never leave me

25 years late but started watching the Sopranos and I can now stop lying to people about whether I have seen the Sopranos

So good seeing Rammy absolutely heaving for the new Ramsbottom Festival today. Top marks to everyone involved 💯

The joy of the school holidays lack of traffic is unmatched.

Hope everyone else is using the story about the French train line arson as a chance to say “sabotage” in a comedy French accent over and over again

1/1 these Olympics for Mary Peace asking me who an athlete is and identifying them correctly.

*Sends an email in August* The out of office replies: