You miss an exit in houston there goes your saturday

forgot about the review i wrote while drunk a year ago

happy new year

Just got told that I’m funny I have officially peaked for 2023

Whoever named the dish “beef stroganoff” was one horny fucker I bet

Sweet potato implies the existence of a much more sinister, mean potato

Every dude age 20-29 has 1 movie from like 2007ish that 90% of their inside jokes come from

Hey guys, sorry I’m late. Had to drive slow cause there was a lizard on my windshield

Someone’s job out there is to fill all the potholes in Houston’s streets and to that person I just wanna ask, are you on fucking crack

Imagine that you could count to 1000 every day and earn a dollar for every number you counted. That’s $365,242 per year (top 2% earners in America) When you would need to start to make X amount of money: $1m- Nov 2020 $1b- 715 BC $233b (Elon net worth)- 635909 BC

Texas is still preheating + the humidity is off the charts y’all really don’t need to move here

Was curious to see if he got charged so I looked it up. This dude (the slapper) was only 21 years old when this happened 🤯

Ran into some traffic on the freeway today. 20 minute delay because of an accident. After 20 min of bumper to bumper stop & go bullshit I come to find out that the accident wasn’t even on my side of the highway. Instantly cleared up after passing it