Who’s your favorite Jersey Shore? Mine’s Vinny. Great guy :-) I don’t like any of the girls because i don’t really like girls :-)

Calamari is made of the same material used to forge penis.

I don’t wipe I extract

Sending you a zip file of cock pics

Met my wife at Seessel’s, left her ass at Schnucks 💯

Lil leftover Domino’s never hurt nobody

Turns out my Three Stooges butt plug isn’t dishwasher safe

My body reminiscent of a legume

Sea Monkeys? More like piss croutons. *CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH*

Brett Kavanaugh is still a Supreme Court justice? Bro is stuck. Bro has no motion

You call the dog wiggle butt because that’s what his toy says? Why don’t you call me 12 inch Game of Throne Dildo

People talk a lot of shit about Millennials these days. Shut up, bitch we invented Arcade Fire

I believe Kelly English is hiding something.

I do not fuck with Kelly English’s vibe. He looks too young for an old guy and his lips are weird

Do you think Pau Gasol has good dick

I’m worried about Trump right now. I really think he’s going through something.

I’m funny as H-E-double hockey sticks

My balls are like chicken eggs, and these yolks don’t run!

Treaty much???

She tried to chew the kid up, I said no I’m still healing 😔