An Olympic announcer just said an athlete’s “broughten” something and it’s taking everything in me not to boycott the remainder of this year’s games. Please pray for me at this difficult time.

Based solely on the state of my glove box, I’m evidently anticipation a serious napkin shortage here within the next quarter. 🤷🏻‍♀️

If everyone read this, maybe I wouldn’t get asked “what else do you do besides coach” as often as I am. This doesn’t even mention all the driving, equipment management and repair, facilities work or athletic training I do. 😅😅 amateurgolf.com/golf-tournamen…

When you open a pack of fruit snacks and get unreasonably excited that it contains exactly 0 orange ones, it’s probably a good sign you’re having a bad day.

Just checked in for a car inspection and he remembered me by name from the last time I was here…over 6 months ago. Not sure what it says about me, or him, or what to do with that information. But here we are.

Ok, PGA Memes No Laying Up - someone please ask Cameron Smith what the heck this was about. The people wanna know.

If it means the fries are going to come out piping hot, there is no need to apologize for my wait time, ma’am. You’re a hero. I should be thanking you, really.

Name a more elite lunch combo than Jimmy John’s and Tropical Smoothie. I’ll wait. Oh, you can’t? That’s what I thought.

Peppermint patties are the most underrated, most under appreciated candy. You can’t change my mind.

Anyone that tells you men can’t communicate..hasn’t worked at a sports tech company comprised of 99% men. (Spoiler: me. I’m the 1%…and they communicate. non-stop. for hours.)

I think it’s about time we start talking about the quality (lack thereof) in the Macy’s Day Parade lip syncing. It’s…bad.

Just got a hot, fresh, large fry from Chick-fil-A, Inc. with…🥁🥁🥁…NO potato butts. I do believe is what the people call “blessed and highly favored.”

How many slack workspaces is too many slack workspaces to be a part of…asking for a friend.

Still happens occasionally after 12 years, in fact.

Just had vinegar-based barbecue sauce touch a massive, bust-wide-open, cold sore and can now confidently speak to what an out-of-body experience feels like. Spoiler: it ain’t good, chief.

These LIV guys walking around Augusta in their team apparel feels way too much some like rec league kickballers stumbled into a Ruth’s Chris instead of the dive bar they were meant to meet up at after they lost their game.

So when does the 2001 classic, I’m Real, by the musical geniuses of Mr. Rule and Mizz Lopez, get old? Asking for a friend.

New job is going really well, thanks for asking. What screams “marketing golf” more? I’ll wait. #GolfLife #MarketingStrategy #LookItUp

Another Apple release event, another missed opportunity to add a blue raspberry emoji.