Women are late to everything because we sat in a towel for 30 minutes post shower and just chilled. That’s it.

Every time I watch a new Disney movie I end up crying. I’m questioning if I’m just a really empathetic person or if this is something I need to talk to my therapist about.

Mawmaw attire check

I had ice cream for dinner. I don’t know if I’ve hit rock bottom or reached a new level of unshakable confidence. This could really go either way🤷🏼‍♀️

Still having an identity crisis because I start my new job Monday. Got my haircut and everything. I feel like I just graduated high school and started college within a 5 day time span.

An overshare: Sometimes when I’m reading I change the accent in my head. Currently reading a history of the Celts and I’m hearing it as a Scottish accent.

I have to arrive at my new office 12 hours from now. The perfectionist in me wants to iron something to cope with the anxiety.😑

I just have so much gratitute right now I’m speechless.

I’m learning French because I feel like it. 🤷🏼‍♀️

This is going very well so far. I have been able to construct very inappropriate sentences all by myself!

My thoughts are constantly giving my brain whiplash. Rude.

My grandmother used to write her name on my granddad’s shirt collars to get his attention in high school. I’m just going to start writing my name on men and see what happens.

I’m at the age that I forget my actual age when people ask me.

I don’t feed the voice of self-doubt in my head anymore. It’s a bully and a liar. I told it stfu. That’s all.

I will not light my desk on fire. I will not light my desk on fire. I will not light my desk on fire. I will not light my desk on fire. I will not light my desk on fire.

Every single dating profile I see says “I want someone passionate and driven who doesn’t take themselves too seriously.” Mine says “I’m looking for lasagna” so I feel like that correlates perfectly.

Even if I sold TWO organs on the black market it wouldn’t be enough to make a dent in buying a house right now.

We really need to stop glorifying sacrificing our mental health for work.

When I die, I need someone to put “She was efficient af.” on my gravestone. As a perfectionist this would bring me great joy. Also please make sure the stone is symmetrical.

Ugh