#summerofnik

what my friends hear when I talk about camp

I can’t do this anymore

never forget when nicki minaj rhymed wiener with selener

mom: put that nintendo DS down now you’re at the dinner table 7 year old me playing cooking mama:

Do y’all ever be driving and think about how quick and easy it would be to just crank the wheel into the median at 70 mph or is that just something I should’ve kept between my therapist and I

I want to have sex with PF Chang immediately

running away to greece is ok. sleeping with 3 men in one summer is ok. not knowing which one of them is the father of ur daughter is ok. encountering the 3 of them at her wedding is ok. only communicating through abba songs is ok. do whatever u need to do to cope.

Happy 10/10/20s on your titties bitch

Our father, who art in heaven, baja be thy blast

getting touched during heads up seven up was the last time I felt something

If the person who made all of Phineas and Ferb songs came out with an album a lot of your favs would be out of business

judge: you’re charged with jaywalking how do you plead? me: *leans into mic* i’ll take the death penalty

It’s all fun and games until Carrie Underwood digs her keys into the side of your pretty little souped up 4-wheel drive.