My dermatologist is taking the strategy of absolutely destroying my skin so that when it returns to its baseline state, I perceive myself as extra gorgeous! So smart why didn’t I think of this

In the 90s a crossword puzzle was a midwit pastime that George costanza types did while waiting at the dentist. Now crossword puzzles are perceived as an elite nerd activity only solvable by the top 1% of the population. The puzzles have not become harder.

The 7/11 birthday cake cappuccino comes out of a machine (obviously), contains no coffee but does have rainbow sprinkles, is basically just sweetened milk and I totally recommend it

Just told my husband that Katy Perry is going to outer space and he told me that already happened

Had some extra pie crust so I threw together a quick not-too-sweet blueberry galette as an afternoon treat

AI is making people like myself - who have committed years of their lives to memorizing cliches to recite at opportune moments - rare and valuable commodities in the workplace

might quit my job to focus on summer

Are people still waxing their eyebrows. Just curious

I be in the movie theater laughing at things no one else is laughing at

2-year-olds point at a building and be like “it’s a castle! 😃” and it’s your local church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints

Teens hanging out at Costco on Friday night. Playing Pac-Man game ($2500 retail) and eating at the food court. Recession indicator?

Does anyone want to see my master’s degree. Or my collection of books

Picture my disappointment, as a sugar addict, on my way to make a cheeky stop at the candy store at the mall. And I come to realize that the candy store has been replaced by a Labubu store

Labubu lemon

I’d bet that within a decade, wealthy parents will be sending their kids to elite private schools that market themselves as low tech (no phones, screens, AI, etc.) and we’ll end up scrambling to figure out how to make this kind of education available to marginalized students.

No one is more mad about the eradication of Columbus Day than me, someone whose birthday falls on Columbus Day once every 7 years

Ummm I had bangs for 5 years and now I’m 28 and there have been FOREHEAD WRINKLES developing under there??? Is this the girl version of the guy from Seinfeld who voluntarily shaved his head for years and then when he tried to grow his hair back, he realized that he was going bald

Sun is setting at 4:26 PM and there are somehow still mosquitoes. Should I just kill myself