i painted my nails on a whim and the color is so fantastic :)

telling people about the drama at work and they all go “oh my god i’m so sorry”…. should i get a new job……

THE UNBRIDLED GREATNESS OF TRAINS WILL ENDURE FOR A MILLION YEARS

sorry but it’s not “just like heated rivalry” just bc it’s sports. there’s gotta be a rivalry, people.

we are in a very crucial season for the pink and red lovers out there

u don’t need to speak spanish to understand bad bunny

do we think it would be more or less cost effective to be buried in my bed tucked in all snuggly

agent emily prentiss i love u

being an austinite is when oh my god my eyes are itching and burning

nothing makes me feel cunty quite like parking in a compact spot

how it feels when tsa asks if u have any weapons and u have to respond “i have knitting needles”

in this moment if naproxen was a man i’d marry him

why is broccoli lowkey having a moment lately

now why would this company put a person in charge of the cali accounts who works in the eastern time zone? and why would that employee be expected to work normal eastern time zone hours? and why can’t i, a person in the central time zone, reach said employee at 4pm on a wednesday

okay well i’m making bread

i still can’t believe my biggest opp got fired life is worth living

why. why are people obsessed with making phone calls in airport bathrooms .