discussing tinder pick up lines is great

2 crazy things just occurred at dinner. Saw a kid eat a full plate of yellow jello. I ate a mini bag of sour patch kids, tropical flavor. I think coconut was in there and it was fucking awful. That is all.

2022 I’m getting a wholesome girlfriend

I hate all my presents NOT *borat voice*

Why do parents decide to get 1 ply once you move out of the house? I don’t fucking get it

Suck It.

I am getting on a plane today,

About to throw five guys down the pipe

flight has been delayed an hour.

Can I identify as disabled?

Airport Beer Airport Beer Airport Beer !

I’m not gonna name any names but Imagine not letting people fart in your company borrowed car. Magister Rick

Connor McDavid has been sent down to the AHL

Logging off for a little ✌🏻