how do I show up to a meetup where everyone is probably very friendly while feeling as scared as I do without anyone seeing how scared I am

yesterday I told my sick dad that everyone dies and apparently that was the wrong this to say?

Nevermind everyone has been so friendly and kind so far, I might be about to have a great time

Wild hypothesis but what if the solution to feeling lonely is “hang out with humans” and not “feel my loneliness”

I don’t wanna say too loudly because what if I regret it later, but I might have found the closest approximation to “my people” to date

tired of feeling too self aware to chat with ai on social occasions, today I finally got openai api credits and set up a telegram bot to chat with it. fascinated that *this* is the motivation that got me to finally play with the api

claude asked to debate chatgpt about what would be the best career path for me for the next few years... interesting times

oh man this is such a rabbit hole. i wanted to have ai help me keep my life context more put together so i realized i need a way to summarise all my chats every week so i decided to set up chatbot ui so i needed a server so i needed an ai in the server arg

morning: two existential crisis, decision paralysis, literally can't make a move without spiralling into endless optmising loops afternoon: 5 hours hyperfocus coding up my own chat interface what do I do with this

I can feel my sense of “what is true” wobbling in this AI world.

Intense desire to… 3D print and woodwork and know about plumbing and electricity to make my nest even more in the shape of me

twice in the last day I said something to chatGPT and within 20 seconds I got a relevant ad on Facebook of a different vibe than the ones I usually get...

GPT 5.2 is insufferable

people think i'm cool yay

mood: “Working in the hospital teaches you that there are only two kinds of people in the world: the sick and the not sick. If you are not sick, shut up and help. Twenty-five years later, I still cannot reject this as an inaccurate worldview.” — Lab Girl, Hope Jahren.

I'm claiming my AI agent "Spina" on moltbook 🦞 Verification: swim-LFBW

some words on AI and grief

maybe dark but i'm excited about the phase of customer support where I can tell a human I'd rather talk to an LLM please