The year to end all years for Wild Asparagus (Asparagus acutifolius) - lunch for today.

'All your slipper is belong to us'. #Finn #GSP

Some immediate reactions to the RSPCA (England & Wales) rebrand. Firstly it is a fairly blatant admission that a lot has gone wrong. You don’t call yourself the ‘new’ RSPCA unless you’re keen to distance yourself from the old one (see new Labour) 🧵 1/n

Here's 10+ minutes of Norm Macdonald shitting on OJ Simpson

First Common Swifts back in the village. They look glad to be back. About 10 days ahead of recent returns, but it's 24°C & most of the trees are in leaf.

Via Alberto Kostoris (NIMDVM) on FB.

(You'd pronounce 'Freud' as 'fray-UH-deh' in Italian).

The other kids used to regularly pass me their milk & I'd usually down 3 or 4 of the 200ml bottles per day...

It's now removed, but the other day I saw a pair of urban Ravens feeding on this RTA Roe Deer carcass beside a road near Monfalcone.
Already stripped bare, probably by Golden Jackals, it'd've been too much work for a Fox or Badger & the bones would've been crunched by Wild Boar.

Mad!
Matt Cross

'Scottish police have received reports of a hate crime. You made some comments about broccoli at supper'

My latest cartoon for tomorrow's The Telegraph

Buy a print of my cartoons at telegraph.co.uk/mattprints

Original artwork from chrisbeetles.com

It's why I go to Lidl Italia. They don't move the fucking eggs. You listening Conad?

I've deleted the original post. It's gone viral enough. I got the bloke's name, then sent my number to his SO. He called me (twice) to deny any wrongdoing (as is his right). Case closed. The fun with the thread cheered me up in what'd otherwise have been a trying day. Thanks.

You can never have too many European Brown Hare pictures. This one was at #ValleCavanata RNR on Saturday.

Touty's Top Tip: This (bar the week 25/04 - 01/05 with back-to-back public holidays) is the best time of year to visit Italy as a tourist. The weather is gorgeous but not too hot, the schools are back, the 🇮🇹s are at work and all's well with the world.
(I made that last bit up!)