i love the word “also” bc i’m literally never done talking 

After November it will be known as Lake Mamdani

telling my grandchildren this was chatgpt

they should have separate airports for people who walk quickly and are capable of reading signs

“Thanks, nothing from my end” *massive crash that kills 15 as he goes to hit the mute button*

A uniquely American sentence: “A search of his car yielded a rifle case, a loaded revolver, ammunition, a backpack and medication that had been prescribed to him. He had a gun license in Nevada and a documented mental health history.”

NYC shooter intended to target the NFL offices; went to the wrong floor. Played high school football; had a note in his pocket about CTE. What we know this morning Front Office Sports: frontofficesports.com/active-shooter…

Yeah, they’re all 25 and learned how to do this in 2nd Grade. This is bleak, not admirable.

Jose Altuve when he sees Carlos Correa walk in the clubhouse knowing they're gonna cheat again

honestly with everything going on in my life i don’t really care

Can’t wait until they unify all the apps into a new app called cable.

HAHAHAHA

Shohei Ohtani is the first player in baseball history to be embroiled in a real estate battle and line into a triple play on the same day.

eight months into 2025 & I've enjoyed like 5 days in total.

Yankees so bad this season they won’t even show team batting averages on the big screen 😭

Your English teacher and your gym teacher are getting married 🧨

Taylor Swift going down the aisle at her wedding

If I had been there😏😏😏