the beautiful power of music can destroy the moon once and for all

not a prophecy. prophecies have to scrawled on ruins and passed down generations. the neighbor here is a textbook clairvoyant precog, and should be hunted by authorities accordingly

if i was the new pope i would do a day one crypto scam

not rubbing in sunscreen anymore. just leaving it as is

true love finds you in the stupidest possible way. thank u Austin for twitter DMing me five years ago and changing my life and possibly the whole entire world

i wonder if apple knew what the middle finger meant when they made it an emoji. it’s a cuss

More like Person Welles. The fellow enjoyed personhood by most legal and philosophical definitions

it’s so obvious whenever there is an elephant in the room

omg… halloween takes place on friday the 13th this year…

started taking a supplement to make me evil

rude bus driver barely acknowledged the funny youtube videos i was trying to show her. not cool!

if we all work together we can overpower the museum security guards and touch all the art

i like this idea. if you’re a vet you turn into a dog! if you’re a chef you turn into a pizza! if you’re a plumber you turn into a toilet

a buddy of mine is kinda like webkinz. you can enter a code and unlock a virtual version of him online. you can play minigames and decorate his room

i don’t mind if the alarm goes off, i was leaving anyway

so exhausted. was head, shoulders, knees and toes day at the gym today

the uncanney valley is really normal to me. i think more things should look like people but subtly messed up

messed up and accidentally brought my enemy to Make Out Point and my sweetheart to Wrestling Match Landfill

they should make something like ring but hidden and for the inside of my neighbor’s houses. so i can monitor them