Thought my notifications weren’t working. Turns out I’m not getting any notifications because I don’t have any. haha. wtf? did space dick invisible cloak me again? 💀

We will always remember the great Arizona election of 1864. When all the judges and legislators behind this Abortion law were voted out and there was nothing but Blue as far as the eye could see.

Because if things weren’t already stressful enough with that orange criminal continuing his efforts to turn Americans against each other and dismantle democracy, let’s add WWIII into the mix.

Happy Friday everyone.

Donald Trump is the domestic enemy that the Founding Fathers warned us about.

Trusting Trump and Johnson on election integrity is like trusting an arsonist to fireproof your house.

“They’ll never take us alive Kato!”

Every white collar criminal in prison has a story to tell about how unfair the Judge was. Trump’s no different than any of them.

We all know who Michael Flynn is. That guy who plotted a coup, works for Russia and shouldn't be getting a pension, right? Do you know who his brother, Charles is? He was busted lying about why he delayed sending help to the Capitol on 1/6 and is currently Commanding General of…

Been consumed with other stuff and can’t believe I almost missed this. It’s National Pet Day.

Hug your animals. ❤️

Sorry I didn’t call you back.

I’ve been distracted for the last eight years.

Mark Cuban still hasn’t followed me, but I’m not giving up because I’m not a quitter.

*which is also why Mark Cuban should hire me

Dear everyone,

How about we vote in November like we don’t want our wives, daughters, and friends to live in medieval times?!

Hi CNN. Here are people who we never need to hear from again. Stop interviewing them.

1. John Bolton
2. Bill Barr
3. Ronna McDaniel
4. Mark Esper
5. Andrew Yang
6. Mia Love
7. And throw Jeffrey Toobin in for good measure.

In case you missed it, Trump and MAGA Mike Johnson will be holding a gaslighting conference at Mar-a-Lago tomorrow on “Election Integrity,” or as the rest of America calls it, more bullshit.

Monday’s Weather forecast in New York: Cloudy with a deluge of MAGA tears.

Who’s supposed to be looking for the killer now?