Let’s commit tax fraud *with rizz*

Growing my mustache out so everyone knows I ain’t shit

Me when I’m not having fun anymore

My mood is affected way too much by the music I listen to

Never doing real shit when the BeReal goes off🥲

2023 is all about perfecting the Irish goodbye

I’ll eat party potatoes till I collapse

“An empty browser history says more than a full one” – Abraham Lincoln

I sleep naked just incase someone breaks into my house so they have to make the decision to leave or fight a naked man with nothing to lose

Knowledge is power

*dairy entering my body*

I should really be doing my taxes

I don’t trust people with good handwriting

Tell your friends you love them. Be annoying about how much they mean to you

I feel very adult for ordering margarita pizza. 40% for the name and 60% because it looks like they dropped it on the floor, picked it up, added some day old spinach, and put out 13 cigarettes on it while looking me in the eye saying, “that’ll be $36.50.” And I’ll smile back. Yum

Legendary celebration 🔥

One of the best moments of my life

My 0-5 fantasy team getting its first win because the other guy forgot to set his lineup after his DUI

This might be the best SNL skit in the last 20 years