TWO LEGENDARIES ON ONE BOSS KILL Tiny Tina's Wonderlands 🌈🦄 Borderlands #borderlands #tinytina #TinyTinasWonderlands

Wife: I don’t have time for anyone in my life that doesn’t play Disney Dreamlight Valley

Hard keeping my mouth sewn shut about this one. ⚔️

*me unsubscribing from emails* “Sorry to see you go! Please allow 25-32 business years for this to take effect”

Tacky t-shirt stores are the heartbeat of America

FB put the “see less of this” button on all elf on a shelf pics I’ve seen & I love them for it

Me doing laundry: def gonna stop turning my socks inside out when I take them off Future me:

Sometimes it feels like all roads lead to Hogsmeade

No one: My 90s brain: hello mother, hello father, fleas ticks mosquitos, really bother 🎶

The “I was a size zero in high school” ladies always marry the “I benched 3 plates in high school” guys

Wife: I hereby claim Gatlinburg as the buffet capital of the world

Fitting #UFC291

I’ve only seen like 3 dudes ever that could pull off the gold chain look

JUST IN: The United States will pay Ukrainian salaries but furlough American citizens in the impending government shutdown. Your government hates you and loves war. If Congress fails to pass a spending plan, the U.S. government will shut down at the end of the month but will

$50 white elephant limit? In this economy?

My brother just sent me this. We men really are simple creatures

Ya never see kids with inhalers anymore

My wife just hit me with “my brother in Christ, did you spend $400 at Home Depot”