Since history loves repeating itself so much where tf are my masquerade balls and jousting

saying 'I'd die for you' is the opposite of romantic I mean great thanks but we'll probably have to stop dating if you're dead

I have it on good authority that hobbits are actually descended from guinea pigs

@DirtyEomer you need to find yourself a girl mate

@DirtyEomer I TRIED BUT YOU WON'T LET ME WITHIN A 5 MILE RADIUS OF YOUR SISTER

@Actualungoliant omg is this what it's like to have a friend

@DirtyEomer @ActualMalef she already knows that

@Actualungoliant LET'S MAKE PLOTS BEHIND SARUMAN'S BACK whilst eating cake and listening to classical pipe music

@Actualungoliant and let's put a red sock in his laundry so his white robes all come out pink

@DirtyEomer @ActualMalef I'd actually quite like that

Oscars would be alot less boring if they all wore costumes so when asked "what are you wearing?" they could say things like "OPTIMUS PRIME"

surely the whole march of the ents thing could have been avoided with fire

@DirtyEomer I'm working on gathering an army of woodland mammals to overthrow Saruman but he has Uruk-hai & they keep eating the rabbits

@actual_angmar you're probably healthier than I am

@actual_angmar I'm trying to expand my social circle but it's not working I don't think uruk-hai understand the concept of friendship

@DirtyEomer @ActualMalef you have GOT to be kidding me.... those better be poisoned

@DirtyEomer Legolas you literally couldn't pay me enough to do this

@DirtyEomer that sounds more insulting to your sister than to me tbh

when you're sad, just remember that some uruk hai have ponytails so at some point they spent time doing their hair

ways to tell someone you like them #4 "if we get married I can afford to pay for your plastic surgery"