Some people are calling for common ground, seeing gray areas where I see black and white. I’m not saying I’m more discerning—just that I discern faster and with less hesitation. P.S. The narrow road has no yield signs.

🚨BREAKING: New neuroscience reveals that the amygdala does, in fact, hijack block buttons in moments of mild satire. More research needed, but early findings suggest correlation with fragile discourse. #BlockedByScience

🚨 Breaking 🚨Crisis Unfolding: The Term ‘Biblical Counselor’ No Longer Limited to Those Who Gave It to Themselves! Sources Confirm Bible Readership Is at Fault.

‘Gracelessness has been weaponized,’ says local pastor—while absentmindedly handing out swords and wiping off his fingerprints.

🚨Hospital Emergency: Make-A-Wish grants dying biblical counselor’s request to swap DSM-5s for Counselor’s Manual by Jay Adams. The board later admitted, “In hindsight, we should’ve realized ‘dying to self’ wasn’t a literal diagnosis.

🇺🇦🇺🇸🚨DIPLOMATIC DISASTER: Biblical Counselor brought in—Suggests U.S. and Ukraine ‘Attack the Problem, Not the Person’—Leaders Pause, Then Mutually Agree the Problem Is Each Other.” Followed by ‘Be Honest’—meeting immediately devolves into an international roast battle.

‘So, we misunderstood his work, but honestly, this still feels right,’ says ACBC leader on hiring Tom Homan to repel integration. #biblecn #biblicalcounseling #forward

‘Traditional Biblical Counselor’ takes a Lenten Break from Harassing CIBC—before whispering to himself, “But Sunday’s Coming.”

🚨 RFK Jr. & Traditional Biblical Counselors Enter Shocking Alliance—Offer $25K Buyout to Common Grace Users 🚨 “You are of your father, Eli Lilly,” read a joint statement from RFK Jr. and TBC representatives.

Biblical Counselor suggests Man’s Fear of Flying Linked to Lack of trust in God’s Sovereignty, Now Boards Planes Singing ‘It Is Well.’

I truly do not understand why nouthetic counselors insist on clinging to the BC label. Not looking for an argument here. If a person wants to out Jay Adams, Jay Adams, go ahead. Just don’t call yourself a biblical counselor; call yourself a nouthetic counselor. #biblecn #forward

🚨BREAKING: Government shutdown averted through teamwork and dialogue—ACBC anti-common-grace faction launch independent commission to ensure they never make the same mistake. #biblecn #biblicalcounseling #forward

🔔📉BREAKING: Market crashes as investors once again place their trust in ‘market psychology.’ Biblical counselors were seen nodding knowingly, quietly murmuring, “Have you considered the ant?” #biblecn #biblicalcounseling #forward

Man’s Gambling Habit Called Idolatry, ACBC Suggests More Generosity—Now Bets on Church Raffles. #biblecn #biblicalcounseling #forward

Novice Questions Use of ‘Biblical Counseling Framework’—Critics Patiently Explain That Structured Sessions, Case Notes, and Intake Forms Are the Classic Biblical Counseling Model—Raising Concerns That His Informal Approach Might Be Yet Another Neo-Integrative Assault.

Historic Biblical counselors respond to deportations, reminding asylum seekers that true citizenship is in heaven anyway. #biblecn #biblicalcounseling #forward

Our apologies for accidentally releasing Dr. Welch’s personal note instead of his edited one. We remain committed to accuracy in our ongoing effort to question his credibility going forward.