After all these years, my wife still thinks I'm sexy. Every time I walk by she says, 'What an ass.' #jokes weird-jokes.com

#ClassicalArtMemes My girlfriend poked me in the eye. I stopped seeing her for a while. weird-jokes.com

My contribution to society is I don’t speak when I’m not educated enough on a topic.

When I see lovers' names carved into trees, I don’t think “aww, how romantic.” I think... “...Wow, a lot of people bring knives on dates.” #jokes

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I was going to tell you a joke about time travel… But you didn’t like it. weird-jokes.com

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My grandma is 80% Irish... Her name is Iris. weird-jokes.com

Today is a brand new day to fuck up something completely different. weird-jokes.com

Bread makers don’t even wear loafers. I’m sick of all the lies. weird-jokes.com

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Meatloaf is a good safe word. It means I would do anything for love, but I won't do that... #jokes

You’re not stupid! You just have bad luck when you’re thinking. weird-jokes.com

“Intelligence is the ability to avoid doing work, yet getting the work done.” Linus Torvalds weird-jokes.com

"What are your dogs' names?" "Calvin and Klein" "Like the underwear?" "They are boxers." #jokes

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I made a graph of all my past relationships. There is an ex axis and a why axis. #jokes weird-jokes.com

Cross-country skiing is great if you live in a small country. weird-jokes.com

My hobbies include going home, staying home, and thinking about being at home. weird-jokes.com

If you see a very intelligent person who has failed in life, know that it's only because he has been too kind to stupid people. weird-jokes.com