i know a witch when i see one

i’m a planner. i like plans. i like knowing things ahead of time, i like knowing when i’m doing what.

#HereWeGo #HereWeGo #HereWeGo #HereWeGo #HereWeGo #HereWeGo #HereWeGo #HereWeGo #HereWeGo #HereWeGo #HereWeGo #HereWeGo #HereWeGo #HereWeGo #HereWeGo #HereWeGo #HereWeGo #HereWeGo #HereWeGo #HereWeGo #HereWeGo #HereWeGo #HereWeGo #HereWeGo #HereWeGo #HereWeGo

my problem is I expect everyone to have common sense and they don’t

I overheard a girl today tell her “friend” that she was excited about moving and her “friend” responded and said “how do you know you moving? Did you get approved? I would move there but I don’t like the neighborhood “ Know a hater when you hear one.

I’m going to give away $10,000 to 3 random people who retweet this tweet AND follows me! (If you don’t follow me, can’t DM you the money) Much love 💗

The grandma thought that the pool was the dancing floor LMFAOOO, buenos días

me: I don't need to write it down, I'll remember me 5 seconds later: oh no

His reaction is everything.

Losing? Never heard of her.

The only way I’m pronouncing Air Force 1’s from now on

why do jobs that pay the least try and work u the hardest? “let’s pick up the pace” bitxh, let’s pick up the pay tf.

manifesting this life:

Not me. Us.

This shouldn’t have made me laugh this much

My kids really lucked tf out because one thing I WILL do, is stop by McDonald’s. My kid: mom can we get McDonald’s Me: I could go for a fry 👀

the superior worm colors let’s fight

Canceling a gym membership is like tryna get out of the cartel