The Super Mario Bros Movie is going to be Gen Z’s Robin Hood. Whether because of Jack Black’s Bowser or Mario’s first power-up scene, there are some kids who are going to feel something very confusing awakening in themselves.

I too fall short of my most ambitious goals by exploding

someone who is good at time management please help me. my family is dying

Her: I bet she’s thinking about other women Me: Chiron the centaur had people legs in front and horse legs in back. Would he trample himself when he ran?

The Babadook (2014)

Ther ys so much beautye yn the worlde, and so much to wonder at, and so manye goode, kynde, thoughtful, brave people tryinge to helpe as much as thei kan. Nevir, evir forget thys most ymportant truth.

Life is like a hurricane

My kids can drop references to internet culture from 15 years ago into conversations for the same reason that I can still sing breakfast cereal commercial jingles from 1961

cannot get over how jack black's kid just looks like jack black if he knew fortnite lore

“Stop worrying bout my [thing] bitch, and worry about your WACK ass [thing]” plays in my head at all times. (This was re: Aimee Mann’s tweet, now lost to time, “Christ, there is no reason in the world anyone should ever have cast Ice T in a television show.”)

happy pride

Oh she’s so cunty

If the gen z ban me from trying to explain dril tweets to my chronically offline girlfriend, I will face god and walk backwards into hell

1. Props to the Akron Beacon Journal for framing this as “kid shot by cop” instead of “officer-involved shooting 2. The least surprising paragraph in the article beaconjournal.com/story/news/cri…