i really do sing “i want my mullet back” by billy rae cyrus with too much passion considering i do not, in fact, have a mullet

it wouldn’t be funny if i asked where my glasses were because i can’t see well enough to find them, right? side note, if anyone HAS seen them...

um... can you please turn down the music? i can’t see when i’m backing out of my parking spot if the music is too loud

if being hot is a crime, i’m going to have to put myself into a freezer

some of you have never won uno, and it shows

me watching enchanted: doesn’t that cartoon guy look like the actor who plays peter pettigrew? me not even a second later: oh wait! that IS the actor who plays peter pettigrew