I gotta stay on social media just to keep up with all these recalls.

“Hey google, play ‘In the Arms of an Angel’” —my dog while begging for food right after he’s eaten a full ass meal, probably.

My 2yo is dipping blackberries in gochujang sauce and is she insane or a genius?

Paul Hollywood could never.

Let’s goooooo

Less “will you accept this rose” by reality shows, and more “kiss from a rose” by seal

Been needing to triple feed my baby (nurse, bottle + pump) and a friend just sent a DoorDash gift card with a note that said “triple feeding is no fun but quadruple feeding is!” A+ no notes.

Also want to take this moment to give a giant fuck you to the “just breastfeed” crowd.

My toddler is sick so I’m quarantined with the newborn in our room — currently hearing my husband screaming Christmas carols at the toddler and she’s laughing uncontrollably 🥹

According to my chocolate advent calendar tomorrow is Christmas.

celine was really spittin when she said “there were nights when the wind was so cold.” cause like. there are

All I want for Christmas is my newborn to poop. And then after she does that, all I want for Christmas is my newborn to sleep.

The Oh Hellos Family Christmas Album.

Idk how Santa did it, but lil girl did both.

being a bengals fan is actually really fun if you’re addicted to anxiety

It’s tough when hospital bills come in “no-spend” January… like sorry guys, idk what to tell ya.

HERE, DAMN.