Annnnd mic drop.

Abbey: Mommy, are you a mermaid? Mom: No, I'm a human. Abbey: You're not a human! You're a mommy!

Parent: Is mommy on the good list? Abbey: Yes P: daddy? AJ: Yes P: Abbey? AJ: Yes P: Tanky? AJ: Yes P: Jovi? AJ: Ha, ha, ha No no no.

Christmas is ruined. "Abbey, who's bringing you presents on Christmas?" Abbey: "Daddy!" "Why Daddy?" Abbey: "because daddy is Santa!"

A:I want a BAGEL -They have gluten A:they're not gluten free? -No A:they're yummy? -yes,They're not gluten free so they are yummy A:ha yeah

Mom- Where's Daddy? Abbey - He's at work. He loves chips. Chips are good I guess. What?....

Abbey didn't want to watch the Broncos/Patriots game. "No, I don't to watch Go Giants" Silly girl. #footballgiants #teammanning

"Abbey, are you beautiful or pretty?" "No, I'm super strong" That's my girl!!!

"Abbey, are you going to be a Dr when you get bigger?" "No , I'm going to stay small" Good girl. #iftheycouldjuststaylittle

A: why did you use my paint? Me: I'm sorry, it was a mistake. A: oh, everybody makes mistakes, I forgive you. Well thank goodness.

Gave Abbey a pancake. She replies: "Thank you, much obliged." Someone has to know what kids show this is from. #thiskid #yourewelcome

"I wish I could be Queen Elsa, but I don't have a blue dress" #toddlerproblems

Abbey starts crying: "What's wrong?" "I wish I had legs made of carrots but I donnnnnttttt" #cantmakethisup #toddlerproblems

"Abbey do you know Jesus?" "Yes, we have to take care of him." "Why?" "Because he's ticklish."

From the backseat I hear, "Put your hands in the air and say woo hoooo!" #toddlerMC

Kevin: Look at those "abs" (In reference to Abbey's abdominal muscles) Abbey: No, you only have one Abbey!

"Abbey, why do you have muscles?" "Because that's how I move, Mama. Muscles help me move." #mykid #heckofpreschoolcurriculum

"It says 'it's gluten free, so it should be mine'" - Abbey...in reference to a balloon.

Me: this is my Haylen A: no, she's MY Haylen Me: but I'm her mom A: But I'm her ABBEY ::growls:: Ok then...

I hear Abbey screaming for me from her room. I bolt upstairs, fling open her door and she screams, "Mom! Have you ever seen a chipmunk?"