SCIENTISTS: “We’ve produced the first-ever image of a supermassive Black Hole, 55-million light years away” RESPONSE: “Oooh!” SCIENTISTS: “We’ve concluded that humans are catastrophically warming Earth” RESPONSE: “That conflicts with what I want to be true, so it must be false”

Mexican food, doesn’t get more American than that.

“I have Savannah Savages in my roots, but it’s not 1920. It is 2020.” Brian Zahnd is a third generation Savannah graduate and his family continues to attend the school district.

I don’t like it. I don’t like it. I really don’t like it. We don’t need a metaverse, we got our hands full with our first verse!

Nothing scratchier than a pool towel that was left on the fence to dry out.

Still can’t believe some people’s survival instincts told them to grab toilet paper.

Hello, this is Brian Zahnd on Peri's account. (Please share this 🧵.) On November 8 my Twitter/X account was hacked by someone using it to run a "MacBooks for charity" scam. You can see it for yourself: Brian Zahnd. Allow me to continue...

Who doesn't love Papa Murphy's??? @papamurphyspizza instagram.com/p/1rert-R1FR/

This kid loves playing outside. instagram.com/p/1tlWAmR1Gw/

Turtle Brownie Sunday. I thought it would be smaller. #icecream #krisandkates instagram.com/p/2Ubjnjx1IT/

How about the KC bullpen? Jeremy Guthrie had one job today and went out and killed it! #kansascityroyals #royals

When you ask somebody "Is Opposite Day?" their answer should always be no. In no scenario should anybody ever answer yes.

LIVE on #Periscope: Jude's birthday. pscp.tv/w/aEzA8jIxMTM1…

LIVE on #Periscope: Jude's birthday. pscp.tv/w/aEzBKDIxMTM1…

LIVE on #Periscope: Pre Show Backstage. pscp.tv/w/aFNMcTIxMTM1…

LIVE on #Periscope: Back stage concert pscp.tv/w/aFNxjzIxMTM1…

LIVE on #Periscope: Matthew West concert. pscp.tv/w/aFYWRDIxMTM1…

I don't think I'm a dumb person, but cutting through that wall with the water pipe behind it was not my smartest moment. #lowes

“Only the Christ child can cause consumerism to bow.” Brian Zahnd instagram.com/p/BdHPrJfng7a/