Oh no cocaine for me I just wanted to be in this tiny bathroom with my friends

The minimum wage in Pennsylvania is $7.25 an hour. A regular Auntie Anne’s soft pretzel at the mall is $7.29. Imagine telling someone an hour of their time is worth less than a pretzel.

yesterday a guy at the grocery store said he was using chatgpt to make a grocery list and I straight up stabbed him in the parking lot. there was so much blood

Politicians are not celebrities. They are public servants and they’ve forgotten their place.

Deeeeeeeeeeetroit basketbaaaaaaaall 🏀 🔥

Ngl the 76ers did Tobias Harris dirty he’s never been nothing but dependable for the Pistons

Love some Gen Z fellas but most of yall are so pussy please grow a pair

Trump literally hasn’t done a single thing right for this country. Not 1. Groceries, gas, war, employment, housing market, overall well being of the average American. It’s all worse than it was 2 years ago.

A new morning has begun and I hate myself less today

NY State of Mind by Nas makes me wanna do criminal shit

Finally did a deep dive of KRS-One’s discography and I’m ngl I completely understand why old heads say he’s top 5 this mf’er doesn’t miss

Jerking off in bathrooms you wouldn’t even wash your hands in #tuggertuesday

i must be mexican the way idgaf what a jose

> be Henry Cavill > born on a tiny British island no one can find on a map > bullied at boarding school. they call you "Fat Cavill" > lose 21 lbs for your first film role at 17 > miss Batman. Christian Bale gets it > miss Bond. Daniel Craig gets it > miss Superman. Brandon Routh

The Pope is too much of a coward to debate Clavicular.

you say this with two flags in your name

I already thought Elon’s mom constantly defending him on twitter was embarrassing. I didn’t even consider that Elon was the one tweeting as his own mom and defending himself, which is maybe the most embarrassing thing I’ve ever seen

"These cheeks are jiggling in a way that is profound, to last for longer than five minutes I would have to be..."

“The Taco Bell I ate earlier is starting to fight back, to make it to the bathroom without shitting my pants I’d have to be…”

I just paid $30/lb for mid-tier steak and over $80 for a tank of gas and all I could think about was how it's all worthwhile as long as we helped Netanyahu blow up 170 Iranian school girls and double tap those paramedics.